If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
we made out on top of his cat.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
