Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
