Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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