she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
