i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
