I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
