bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Randomize
