i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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