She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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