Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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