Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
