y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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