i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
