accomplished twins. life is a go
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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