I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
