Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
