I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Boobs are out for the taking
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
