At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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