More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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