Plan B is the new Plan A
Non-Jews are for practice
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
