I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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