I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
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I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
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How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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