y did u give ur computer a hand job?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
My vagina just clenched in fear
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
