Im at strip club and am horny
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
how drunk are you?
Several
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
