there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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