I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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