oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
