Reggie can tackle my bush.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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