with your own penis?
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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