i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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