I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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