i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
