JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
