He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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