The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
