i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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