he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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