I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
