This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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