saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
