i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
