I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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