What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
