I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
