no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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