I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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