There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
