The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
