We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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