Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
