I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize