I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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