I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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