I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Less talking, more tequila
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize