I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
