i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
