My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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