i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
