whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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