i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
