just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
