Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.

  (1-310): View more from California

  ewwww. she might as well have a dick.

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  (310): she cant drink. allergic to alcohol. (1-310): ewwww. she might as well have a dick. http://tfl.nu/aucq
  Replies (28) Good night (579) Bad night (1305)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.

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  (601): Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away. http://tfl.nu/uxou
  Replies (60) Good night (3480) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.

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  (727): i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR. http://tfl.nu/oyj0
  Replies (16) Good night (13715) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (+93): View more from

  woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!

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  (+93): woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge! http://tfl.nu/6tpc
  Replies (22) Good night (614) Bad night (2246)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy

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  (480): Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy http://tfl.nu/pa3a
  Replies (32) Good night (2212) Bad night (3460)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.

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  (408): Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling. http://tfl.nu/ek2q
  Replies (26) Good night (784) Bad night (4315)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.

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  (510): Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it. http://tfl.nu/5742
  Replies (15) Good night (3552) Bad night (1109)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.

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  (703): You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's. http://tfl.nu/9isl
  Replies (16) Good night (1147) Bad night (3420)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus

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  (315): I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus http://tfl.nu/f2or
  Replies (5) Good night (1407) Bad night (761)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Did it finish?

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  (203): You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified. (508): Did it finish? http://tfl.nu/ahm8
  Replies (4) Good night (2962) Bad night (830)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.

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  (973): Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover. http://tfl.nu/7xqn
  Replies (10) Good night (637) Bad night (1363)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...

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  (765): We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often... http://tfl.nu/m3tb
  Replies (4) Good night (1998) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why

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  (514): He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why http://tfl.nu/b6q6
  Replies (11) Good night (956) Bad night (2635)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.

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  (610): How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you. http://tfl.nu/fpwy
  Replies (8) Good night (2430) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.

  (815): View more from Illinois

  This is why you're my favorite.

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  (773): if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass. (815): This is why you're my favorite. http://tfl.nu/6wk2
  Replies (3) Good night (1504) Bad night (417)

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