Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer

  (214): View more from Texas

  i owe you one

  (469): View more from Texas

  thanks for snagging those panties for me

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  (214): btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer (214): i owe you one (469): thanks for snagging those panties for me http://tfl.nu/g3sv
  Replies (9) Good night (1330) Bad night (619)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal

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  (773): Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal http://tfl.nu/usjw
  Replies (29) Good night (22112) Bad night (955)
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  (510): View more from California

  I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series

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  (510): I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series http://tfl.nu/wka4
  Replies (95) Good night (1115) Bad night (3593)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...

  (480): View more from Arizona

  exactly, that's why i want something interesting

  (512): View more from Texas

  slutty neuroscientist?

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  (512): halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc... (480): exactly, that's why i want something interesting (512): slutty neuroscientist? http://tfl.nu/zg01
  Replies (35) Good night (5181) Bad night (652)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.

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  (803): there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina. http://tfl.nu/qg49
  Replies (28) Good night (1092) Bad night (20227)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.

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  (856): It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk. http://tfl.nu/u52z
  Replies (19) Good night (3837) Bad night (1597)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.

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  (978): So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show. http://tfl.nu/9mds
  Replies (16) Good night (3784) Bad night (806)
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  (619): View more from California

  definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius

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  (619): definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius http://tfl.nu/ay4s
  Replies (25) Good night (2924) Bad night (884)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.

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  (780): I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night. http://tfl.nu/oi63
  Replies (7) Good night (2671) Bad night (702)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.

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  (727): Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome. http://tfl.nu/3ucr
  Replies (20) Good night (1977) Bad night (647)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart

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  (605): its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart http://tfl.nu/w4xp
  Replies (7) Good night (1969) Bad night (715)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.

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  (602): If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for. http://tfl.nu/540a
  Replies (17) Good night (1705) Bad night (433)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.

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  (503): My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies. http://tfl.nu/5aky
  Replies (5) Good night (445) Bad night (1111)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back

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  (860): Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back http://tfl.nu/64sk
  Replies (7) Good night (376) Bad night (974)
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  (619): View more from California

  He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.

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  (619): He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no. http://tfl.nu/auat
  Replies (1) Good night (286) Bad night (448)

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