In the future we'll all be gay
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.