Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  why didn't you poke me back

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  (248): why didn't you poke me back http://tfl.nu/aomd
  Replies (5) Good night (1239) Bad night (1506) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra

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  (512): I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra http://tfl.nu/ayn1
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.

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  (250): I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you. http://tfl.nu/p3o8
  Replies (15) Good night (9339) Bad night (821) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.

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  (913): Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals. http://tfl.nu/wv0a
  Replies (22) Good night (8238) Bad night (979)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you

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  (303): you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you http://tfl.nu/wspo
  Replies (15) Good night (5277) Bad night (963)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.

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  (201): Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them. http://tfl.nu/ciek
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  (850): View more from Florida

  We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?

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  (850): We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out? http://tfl.nu/dwkr
  Replies (8) Good night (3208) Bad night (680)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston

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  (407): Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston http://tfl.nu/rb3u
  Replies (5) Good night (1975) Bad night (756) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.

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  (843): The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year. http://tfl.nu/r78b
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  (707): View more from California

  The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends

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  (707): The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends http://tfl.nu/16wy
  Replies (11) Good night (3159) Bad night (677) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.

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  (509): I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning. http://tfl.nu/olim
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  (360): View more from Washington

  She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.

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  (360): She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone. http://tfl.nu/5hxx
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.

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  (256): I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night. http://tfl.nu/42hk
  Replies (0) Good night (1130) Bad night (362) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow

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  (615): i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow http://tfl.nu/kcra
  Replies (4) Good night (262) Bad night (1111) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.

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  (410): You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple. http://tfl.nu/ksa4
  Replies (3) Good night (839) Bad night (292) Order T-Shirt

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