I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I intend to get homeless drunk
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
