I love black thongs
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.