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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.

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• (516): View more from New York

  Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  ... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?

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• (941): View more from Florida

  I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕

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