Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.