Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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